Friday, October 07, 2011
The decision
posted by Anamika Anyone at 12:15 pm
I don't know when exactly I realised I was in deep shit. I'd been living my life in a haze, floating by, hating the days, fearing the nights. I think it was a gradual realisation. I thought it was me. Maybe I was shitting my life up. Guess what - I'm right.

I don't know what I want in life. Who I want to be. But that's ok. What is disturbing is that I wasn't willing to move my ass out of my comfort zone and try to find out!

Comfort zone! That's a joke. What I was in, what I'm just getting out of is my anasthesia zone! I was so paralysed, so inert! I knew, deep in my heart, that this is not my destiny. Practically everyone who loves me knows that this is not what I was born to be. But I was stuck, unwilling to move!

Why was I so stubborn, so averse to facts? Did I think I had a long time to live, and would eventually, someday get my act together? Or was I under the impression that this is all I would ever be, this is how I would die? All ridiculous notions.

Suicidal thoughts naturally entered my mind, just like they invade when I'm at my weakest. I've always been disturbingly fascinated with the thought of ending my life. But you know what - this is not the fucking time. This is my time to live, to shine, to get hit in the nuts, dammit! To make moronic mistakes, get hammered for it, make more moronic mistakes!

Part of my recent 'phase' was laziness, anasthesia zone. Most of it was the fact that I was directionless. No defined dream! Sure, there were many things that 'would be nice' but I had no compelling reason! Because I didn't know my finish line, I didn't begin the race. Whose fuckup? Mine.

All is well now. I finally have an inkling about where I want to go on this Ferrari that is my body, mind, spirit, opportunities. I'll build from there, never stop questioning. I now have made a decision - I'm in it to win it. I'm moving my ass to get what I want, and nothing will stop me. I'll go through discomfort, pain, change, learning to get so much more. For me, my family, my community.

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Saturday, April 18, 2009
Pulp Fiction
posted by Anamika Anyone at 9:51 pm


The CD was lying in the case for months. I hadn't yet watched Pulp Fiction. Maybe because I had heard that this was an exceptional movie and I wanted to wait for a good time to enjoy it. Well, I watched it today, and I have to say, I'm not disappointed.

Pulp fiction is a delightful-yet-sordid dark comedy on crime syndicates, petty burglars, and Hollywood. It's basically three short interlinking stories. Story 1: Contract killer Vincent(John Travolta: I didn't give a damn about him, but he has pretty much caught my notice after this movie) takes his boss Marcellus' wife Mia Wallace (Uma Thurman: that Bob! Awful!) out on a friendly dinner date. He ends up frantically fighting for Mia's life as she's ODed. Story 2: Butch Coolidge (Bruce Willis) is a prize fighter who wins last battle and runs for his life from Marcellus. I won't tell any more about this story because its so fantastic it has to be watched. Story 3: Vincent and his partner Jules(Samuel Jackson) land themselves in a mess involving a headless corpse, blood and brains splattered all over their car, and a couple who think its a clever idea to rob a cafe.

I read "The great Gatsby" a month ago. Like Pulp, I had heard glowing references made to it. Good story, but I didn't like it because I could not identify with any of the characters. All of them lacked substance. Even Gatsby himself. In Pulp, however, I've got a host of well-etched loonies to choose from. Lets see; who do I like the best? Mia Wallace with all her witticisms, her twist dancing style and those sharp heroin-addled eyes? Or Winston Wolf, the think-on-his-feet virtuoso sent to clean up the headless-corpse shit? Or Jules, with his scary evangelist voice when he recited a psalm before unloading a gun on a guy. Or maybe, Butch's girlfriend whose genuine sweet talk made me think of Audrey Hepburn. I cannot decide. No book I read, play or movie I've seen has been so rich of characters.

The movie had me glued to my seat, thanks to the unforeseen twists and turns. In the absence of abovementioned t.s and t.s there were kitschy, engaging dialogues and then there was the soundtrack. The soundtrack! I loved one song in particular; something about a preacher's son teaching.

So, to sum up: I decided I like Quentin Tarantino(all that extreme violence aside) when I watched Kill Bill. Now I like him much, much more.

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Monday, December 29, 2008
Awesome!
posted by Anamika Anyone at 6:17 am
Do you know what I like about Christmas?
Rose cookies!



Anyway, I watched Ghajini. I did not like it better than Memento. But its good.

Coming to the main topic:I did three awesome things this weekend!

Awesome book read:
“The little prince” by Antoine De-Saint Exupery may seem like a kiddie book, but don't let the simple writing and the illustrations fool you. The book is an anthology on life, a simpler version of “The Alchemist”. The messages that the author has for us are simple, direct and effective. The little prince charms his way into your heart and reminds you of some things you've long forgotten. A beautiful read.

Awesome movie watched:
No, not Ghajini. “The great dictator” is Charlie Chaplin's little joke on World War 2 and Adolf Hitler and his only talkie. It is funny and heart warming. It seems incredible now that I haven't watched any of Chaplin's other movies. He's a class-A actor.

Awesome walk walked:
It had been some years since I'd gone to Lalbagh. That too, Lalbagh early in the morning.
“Itni rango bhari apni duniya hai kyun? Socho tho, socho na..”
Now I know why..to help me learn the colours in German, of course!
Especially the sonnengelb (sun-yellow) at the park, when the early sunlight streamed in between the trees, flooding the park golden. And I have to say, that early in the morning, some parts of the lake look really neat.

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